Yesterday I was so upset with what I saw on Facebook. I tried not to think about it but by the end of the day when Renae took me home and I picked up My Sisters Keeper (cuz im still trying to finish the book lol) I broke down. I couldn't stand the hurt. I texted Allie and she called me when she got out of work. I told her what was going on and she told me that I deserve the world. She said that I don't deserve Steve, or Mike, or Stephen. She said that one day I will find what I deserve. She said that as soon as I got off the phone with her I should go and delete Mikes number out of my phone...instead I called him. He didn't answer so I was just going to leave it at that; then he called me a little while later.

He started yelling at me for leaving him a wall post on Facebook. He said that I should have waited and just talked to him. I told him I was angry and I didn't want to talk to him and I don't regret leaving the post and I'd do it again. He said Ashley saw it and they got into a fight..personally, I don't care.

When he broke up with Kate he told me that he wanted to be back with me, that we were on the same page with what we wanted. He explained to me why he broke up with Kate and then told me he didn't want Kate to know that he was interested in me again so I kept it to myself. I didn't like that. I don't like having to keep my personal life a secret unless I want it to be a secret. I thought that Mike and I were happy, I thought that things were going to be good, I thought that I found someone who wasn't going to hurt me.

Last night he reminded me that, that night we talked he told me he was changing and he didn't know how it was going to turn out. That being said, he realized that Ashley has always been there for him and he realized that he does have feelings for her and he was sorry he didn't keep me updated on what was going on.

What the fuck ever. I don't need him. I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. After I got over Stephen I learned how to be happy and not have a man at my side. I didn't even think about being in a relationship until I met Mike. It's fine though. I've been through so much shit that I'm not gonna waste my time on someone who treats me like this. Maybe I'm better off just waiting for Steve to come back, because everyone knows that in time he and I will get back together.

Steve and I have been talking a lot more. I guess he's actually trying to be my friend again and I like that. I don't want to be him at this moment in time though. I know that the timing isn't right for us..that was always the problem with us; timing. I'm going to be just fine being single. I have my friend, my babies (cordy, caidance, jimi), and the family that actually likes me.

Turn Around List:
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1.Grammy is buying me a new laptop.
2.Daddy is sending me book money for school.
3.Get to keep my Verizon phone.
4.LTI may have found me a job.