it started snowing tonight which made me uber happy for about ten minutes until it made me start thinking about this time last year. i look at the date everyday but it honestly slipped my mind until this afternoon that steve and i have been broken up for a year and 3 days. this is the longest we've ever been apart. this time last year i was in the middle of a nervous breakdown and in bed making myself sick and then 3 weeks go by and stephen walked back into my life. we started dating on christmas morning so i know that day is gonna suck. its not so much that i miss him but i miss who i thought he way. despite that fact that hes an asshole scumbag he did help me feel better about things and get me to a place where i was happy without steve.

i miss steve so much. i dont want to be with him though. i still believe that we are meant to be together but i know this is not the time for us. i just wish that he would answer that effin facebook message.

mike and i are talking again and im glad. i really missed him in my life. i overreacted the last night we talked but after i thought about everything he said it made sense and the fact that he apologized to me for what he said that night and hurting me just made me realize how much i miss talking to him. i had to re-give him my number cuz he doesnt have his phone anymore but he said that he was gonna borrow his brothers and call me sometime.

a memory about the snow that i randomly thought of is from two years ago around this time. steve and i broke up december 18, 2007 and got back together june 29, 2008 and broke up again december 1, 2008 but back in 07 i was waiting for him to come over and i went outside and drew a heart in the snow and inside it i wrote S+S and took a picture with my phone and that was my phone wallpaper until i got a new phone. he showed up and stepped on it lol. yeah, what a dbag.